Talk:Kick/@comment-207.237.57.160-20121027003500
So um, I really don't know how to start this... but um, hey guys. It's Fifi. Yes, I'm still alive. & I crossed my heart & I hoped to die... that I only stay with ya one more niiight... OKAY, STOP. SERIOUS MODE, Fi. Serious mode. Okay, first of all. To the peeps that don't know me. Hi, I'm Fifi Boyce, commonly known as Fifi, & I tried to suicide the other day. You would know if you have me on Twitter. Anyways, why the heck would I do that? Well, I just couldn't take it anymore. I was flunking in school. Getting 60's in everything. Being called retarded, stupid, a dumb a--, etc. is not that pleasent. Now I don't wanna snitch or anything, but being called that from your own family just adds more pain. IDK, I think I'm just over sensitive. Sure, you can say I have issues, but before I wanted to suicide, the only way I dealt with stress was by scratching or cutting myself. I bet your thinking, oh wow. Just cus she's being called a dumbie makes her wanna kill herself. No. That's only the start. Just an FYI, this reason might be a little sissyish... IDK, but my best friend. Like truly bestie bestie, you're my sista for the restie left me. I'm not saying we're not friends anymore, but we're not close anymore. We are like 2 diff peeps. Nothing in common no more. Plus, we rarely talk. Only in class cus we were assigned to sit next to each other. I don't know how you would feel, but I felt a part of me was gone. She was my best friend. & then she gone. Just like that. She was a WHOLE. OTHER. PERSON. I didn't know her anymore, she left me for the "populars" & became one as well. I'm sorry if I'm kinda ranting. I feel so stupid doing this, but some of y'all wanted to hear me out, so here I go... AGAIN. There's also the bullying. Chino, chinorita, etc. all that stuff. Not something I wanna hear. They made me hate my enthicity, which breaks my mom's heart. Don't forget to add in that I'm such a troublesome kid. My parents. I just feel like I'm not the child they ever wanted. That their life would be SO much better w/o me. Like the whole world would be a better place w/o me. There's more, but that's kinda outta my comfort zone to tell y'all. Sorry. So all that stress. I couldn't take it. I didn't feel like coping w/ it any longer. I felt the need to just stop. So yeah. I'm just so sorry for making y'all so worried. That day. When I felt the need to just end it, I thought about something. Thought about what would happen if I was gone. Not gonna lie, though about you guys first. My ONLINE fam for the love of ham and cheese, not my real one. Like blood related. But I did. Why? Cus you guys... I CAN'T TAKE IT. YOU GUYS ARE SO ARGH! I JUST CAN'T LIVE W/O y'all. Best thing that's ever happened to me. You guys. YOU FREAKING GOT OLIVIA HOLT TO TWEET ME! I died when I saw that the next day. I just couldn't let y'all down. Plus the fact that I'll miss the moment I've waited for since like... FOREVZ... the Kick kiss. HOW the f--- could I miss that?! Just can't thank y'all enough. I'm WAY too blessed. My love goes out to each & everyone of you. & to the people who said I'm being stupid, I TOTES RESPECT YOU. That's totes true. & I shouldn't have even thought about it. I just... there are not enough words to thank you & describe how much I love you guys. :'( gonna tear up... Thanks for just plainly being you. <3 God bless. XOXO, Fifi P.S. - I'm gonna take a snapshot of everything you guys have wrote, so don't change anything! (: